After showering, Xiang Wan curled up into Chao Xin’s embrace, as she had done many times before.
Chao Xin’s bare arm wrapped around her, listening as Xiang Wan spoke near her collarbone.
“Ms. Chao.”
“Mm.” Chao Xin replied playing with Xiang Wan hair strands.
“These past few days have felt like a dream,” Xiang Wan said, “After reconciling with you, I haven’t had the chance to properly be your… girlfriend.”
When Xiang Wan mentioned ‘girlfriend,’ a blush crept onto her cheeks. She asked in a sweet voice, “Am I your girlfriend?”
Her eyelashes fluttered against Chao Xin’s skin.
“Yes.” Chao Xin smiled.
“Girlfriend…” Xiang Wan traced circles on Chao Xin’s chest with her index finger.
“In the future, there will be plenty of time to be my girlfriend,” Chao Xin said.
She also needed to learn how to be a good girlfriend to Xiang Wan.
It seems she really likes Xiang Wan a lot.
Just the thought of the word stirs a surge of emotion in her heart.
“I apologize for saying it’s like a dream,” Xiang Wan softly said, “I’m simply listening, feeling heartache, unable to fully empathize with your past. Also, I know you don’t want me to empathize, you can’t bear it.”
“You spoke to me because you want to open up, and also told me that you want to rely on me.”
Xiang Wan lifted her head and reassured, “You can rely on me. In the future, if there’s anything, we’ll figure it out together.”
Chao Xin felt the mist welling up in her eyes once more. The deserts of her past now seemed to have transformed into an oasis, abundant and capable of embracing the spring breeze and rain that Xiang Wan brought with her.
“Chao Xin,” Xiang Wan continued slowly, “I really like your name.”
Every day ahead was a fresh start[1].
“Wanwan,” Chao Xin’s voice was tinged with emotion as she embraced Xiang Wan, her lips briefly touching against Xiang Wan’s forehead, not lingering for long.
She had occasionally hated this world for its lack of kindness. It brought countless girls into existence without expectations and gave them the most sensitive and tender hearts, causing them to recognize their unwelcomeness much faster than anyone else.
However, just now, Xiang Wan didn’t say much. She just licked over and over again the very place that had caused her so much disdain, telling her that the water source there was a gift from the earth, to be cherished by someone who would hold it on their tongue time and again, in an almost worshipful manner.
So, the fault didn’t lie with the water source, but with those who failed to appreciate it.
At times, Chao Xin felt that some women in the mountains were like fields, trampled and excavated, sacrificing their bodies to nurture with their own flesh. Yet, some farmers only cared about the fruits and harvest they could extract from the land. If it didn’t equate to profit, they wouldn’t spare a second glance at the pitiful fields.
As a result, she sometimes despised the environment and the exploitation wrapped by the sugar-coating of ‘marriage.’ For a time, even the thought of intimate relationships made her queasy.
However, at the age of 33, she met Xiang Wan.
Xiang Wan appeared pure, as if she was a being from beyond this world, and her tenderness resembled that of a young animal, just beginning to encounter the chaos of life.
She told Chao Xin, in a neither hurried nor slow manner, what true love really is—it’s respect, it’s tolerance, it’s giving as well as receiving, it’s the freedom that disregards the physical body and gender, it’s the stubbornness and pride of being devoted to one person out of millions.
Because she met Xiang Wan, Chao Xin began to feel that maybe this world had its little biases in her favor too.
“Ms. Chao,” Xiang Wan knew Chao Xin didn’t want to sleep, so despite her own drowsiness, she continued speaking to Chao Xin, “When we get back, can we buy a cat?”
“Do you want to raise a cat?”
“Yes, I really do. There used to be one at Yu Zhou’s place. At first, I didn’t like it. I was scared, but later we got along very well. It would sleep beside my pillow at night. Its name was Wanwan.”
“Wanwan?”
“The ‘Wan’ from ‘bowl and chopsticks.’[2] Later, when I lived alone, I always wanted a cat, but I didn’t dare to get one because I was afraid of moving and the instability, also most landlords don’t allow pets.”
However, now Xiang Wan wanted to raise one; her implication was subtle—she wanted to settle down with Chao Xin.
“What kind of cat do you want? A black one, a white one?”
Chao Xin wasn’t very knowledgeable about cat breeds, so she just mentioned color.
Xiang Wan chuckled, “Any kind is fine, as long as it’s cute and we get along. When we have time, let’s pick one together, let Paipai choose one she likes too.”
“Okay.”
“When I talked about the little savings during the day, I wasn’t just placating you. I got some fees from the show, and I’ve saved up some money. I was thinking of buying some things for my godmother for the New Year, but let’s prioritize this first. I don’t know how much Su Chang’s car repairs will cost, but hearing her talk with Sun Er, it seems it won’t be cheap.”
“Don’t worry, I can pay,” Chao Xin said hoarsely.
“If it’s not enough, tell me.”
“Okay.”
“Although I’ve picked up Paipai, my heart can’t quite settle down. Once we’re back in Jiang City, we need to have a serious talk with Paipai. Make sure she waits for the adult to pick her up in the evening, and it might be better to discuss things with her teacher too. She’s in fifth grade now, and transferring schools at this point might be difficult. We should keep a close eye on her. In two years, she’ll be moving up to a new school, and then that person won’t be able to find her anymore.”
Xiang Wan coughed twice.
Chao Xin, fearing Xiang Wan might catch a cold, hurriedly wrapped another layer of blanket around her.
Then Chao Xin looked at her and chuckled quietly.
“What are you laughing at?” Xiang Wan said,
“I’m laughing at how serious and old-fashioned you sounded just now. You’re only in your early twenties, Wanwan, don’t worry about these things, okay?” Chao Xin replied.
Chao Xin herself was capable enough, she truly was.
Listening to Chao Xin, Xiang Wan didn’t agree, so she spoke,”In my early twenties, back in the Li Dynasty, if I had been more able, I could have been in charge of an entire household.”
“Would you want to be in charge of my household too?” Chao Xin asked gently, smiling at her.
“Would you want that?” Xiang Wan asked,
“Of course, I’d even give you my bank card.”
Xiang Wan wanted to speak, but before she could, she coughed a few more times.
“What’s the matter? Cold?” Chao Xin asked, patting her back, and then intended to get up to pour her some water.
Xiang Wan shook her head and cleared her throat, “Just a bit of an itch.”
As they spoke, they heard a dog barking outside, followed by the crowing of a rooster. Xiang Wan leaned forward, finding the rural sounds refreshing.
Chao Xin noticed and laughed, “Actually, the countryside has its charms. When we have time, I’ll take you to other villages, stay in stilted houses, eat tofu grilled crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, and taste the sticky rice cakes—the soybean powder they use is so fragrant, you can’t find it in the city.”
Something suddenly occurred to Xiang Wan, and she asked, “Can you ride a horse?”
“Yes.”
“You say yes, but why is your face turning red?”
“Afraid you’ll ask me to ride one for you to see.”
“What’s there to be embarrassed about?”
“I don’t think I look very good riding a horse.”
“You’re always critical of yourself, but I think everything about you is quite nice.”
Xiang Wan smiled at Chao Xin, her bright eyes and white teeth shining in a clear and moving way.
Chao Xin sighed deeply in her heart, a solid sigh with a beginning and an end, one that seemed to echo with the sound of her breath charging through her ribs.
“You even look good when you’re fighting,” Xiang Wan added. Even though fighting isn’t good.
“You…”
“What?”
“Stop complimenting me.”
“I see.”
The two of them chatted back and forth, their conversation seemingly trivial yet so absorbing that they found themselves talking until dawn without a hint of sleepiness. Afterward, they got up to pack their things, waiting for Paipai, Su Chang, and Yu Zhou to wake up before checking out of the hotel. They grabbed a few pastries and then without further delay in the town, they drove back to the city.
Concerned about Chao Xin driving while tired, Peng Xiangzhi offered to drive her car. So, Chao Xin joined Xiang Wan and Paipai in the back seat.
Peng Xiangzhi quickly familiarized herself with the car’s controls and started the engine, with the lights on.
Chao Xin turned her head to look at the still half-asleep town, which seemed remarkably serene in its slumber, as if it posed no harm to anyone.
Once again, she was leaving this place. The last time she left, her heart was full of scars, but this time, she’s leaving with the car full of scars.
As Paipai slept soundly on her lap, Chao Xin gently stroked the little girl’s soft hair. In that moment, she really wanted to say that, in a way, by saving Paipai this time felt like a form of redemption for the version of herself that hadn’t been managed to return in time all those years ago.
She wasn’t alone this time; she had the unwavering support of Xiang Wan, the voluntarily driving Peng Xiangzhi, and the help of Yu Zhou and Su Chang in negotiations.
Chao Xin had carefully thought about how to express her thanks to them once they returned, especially to Su Chang. Without Su Chang, she might have managed Sun Er, but not as effectively or swiftly.
During the negotiations, Chao Xin observed coldly and cooperatively. After all, Su Chang was a third party with no ties to Sun Er. With her car damaged, Chao Xin had full confidence in seeking compensation and showed no mercy, naturally intimidating Sun Er much more.
If it had been Chao Xin, Sun Er might have tried to play the ‘family drama’ card, possibly bringing up Chao Wang inadvertently, and then Chao Xin might not have been able to keep herself in check.
Because she had never settled accounts with the Sun family.
All the efforts she made, spending a lot of money on a school district house, sending Paipai to the best schools, were to avoid repeating past mistakes. If Paipai could live a carefree life in a freer place, she wouldn’t want to drag her back to fight into the mire and struggle.
As the city neared, Chao Xin hadn’t slept at all during the ride, her mind occupied with thoughts.
Paipai’s breathing had been steady throughout the trip, and surprisingly, so was Xiang Wan’s.
Xiang Wan usually found it difficult to sleep in moving vehicles because she was not used to it, but perhaps she was tired from the previous night. Today, after boarding the car and exchanging a few words, she leaned against the window and closed her eyes to rest.
Watching Xiang Wan in that position for a while, Chao Xin worried her neck might get sore, so she decided to gently pull Xiang Wan closer to rest against herself.
The moment she touched Xiang Wan’s neck, Chao Xin’s brow furrowed.
Upon taking another look at Xiang Wan’s face, which had been hanging down the entire trip, Chao Xin noticed the faint flush on her cheeks, the chapped lips, and the rise and fall of her chest with each heavy breath.
As they exited the highway onto the bypass, the toll booth lay ahead with a line of cars queuing up.
They were supposed to drive straight through, however, Su Chang noticed the silver car in front signaling and slowly pulled over to the side of the road.
Su Chang followed suit and stopped as well.
The two of them got out and walked towards Chao Xin’s vehicle, where they saw Chao Xin and Peng Xiangzhi opening the doors and bending over to check on Xiang Wan in the back seat.
“What’s wrong?” Yu Zhou hurried over in quick strides, her anxiety visible.
Without a word, Chao Xin reached out to touch Xiang Wan’s forehead, which was alarmingly hot to the touch.
“What do we do? Can she go to the hospital?” Peng Xiangzhi had stopped specifically for Yu Zhou to take a look, remembering that Yu Zhou had mentioned Xiang Wan had once had a fever at her place.
“Wanwan, you have a fever,” Chao Xin crouched down, gently caressing her face, “Do you think you can make it? Should we go home to take some medicine, or should we take you to the hospital?”
Xiang Wan breathed with difficulty, not responding for over ten seconds.
Then she reached out, with the last of her strength, gripping Chao Xin’s hand. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she spoke weakly, with an apologetic tone, “Ms. Chao.”
“I’m afraid that I’m going to be quite ill.”
- The xin in Chao Xin’s name means new/fresh in Chinese. [return to text]
- The wan in Xiang Wan’s name has the same pronunciation as the Chinese word for bowl. [return to text]
CNYuriTranslation 