“So, do you mean…” Xiang Wan’s heart skipped a beat as she looked at Chao Xin uncertainly.
“Didn’t you say you want to kiss me?”
Chao Xin averted her gaze, “You mentioned that you’re not certain, so perhaps you don’t need to be overly certain, possibly.”
“I don’t know what liking is or what love is. It’s not something I needed,” she crossed her forearms on the railing, facing the wind that had been blowing for nearly ten miles, “Maybe it’s solace? I don’t know.”
“All I can tell you is that I’m comfortable with it, and you can do some things to me that you want to do.”
Sometimes Chao Xin is dismissive of desire, just like when she decided to start smoking without hesitation.
In the past, she used to mingle with a roommate who was making quick money at the nightclub, and she secretly smoked a cigarette in the bathroom.
She felt dizzy and choked, questioning the depths of the human soul, much like Xiang Wan did when she rode the pirate ship for the first time.
Strangely enough, she didn’t experience dizziness when drinking, but smoking made her feel dizzy.
However, after the dizziness passed, she found the second cigarette quite comfortable.
Every puff seemed to chip away a little bit of the stone pressed deep in her brain, discarded little by little. Sometimes her limbs would go soft, and she’d hold her fingers in front of her eyes, moving them, experiencing the feeling of gradually losing and then regaining strength.
It was like surviving a disaster.
Desire didn’t have much to do with emotional ways for her, but she believed that life should occasionally be a bit out of the ordinary. It meant doing something that wasn’t excessive but still brought her comfort.
She saw it as a small act of defiance against the world, after all, the world often made her uncomfortable.
If Xiang Wan was sincerely considering their friendship and intimacy, Chao Xin might be a little clumsy. However, when Xiang Wan mentioned seeing her as Yu Zhou and having the urge to kiss her, Chao Xin felt they could separate this topic and address it separately.
Like satisfying her hunger, or a craving for a cigarette.
Xiang Wan didn’t quite understand what Chao Xin was saying, but the word ‘solace’ struck a chord with her.
She looked at Chao Xin’s profile, and once again she had the urge to kiss her.
Chao Xin and Yu Zhou were completely different people. When she confessed her desires to Yu Zhou, Yu Zhou’s first reaction was to deny, to push her away, to tell her solemnly – this is not love.
“You should think it through, and then we can discuss other things.”
But Chao Xin’s response was beyond Xiang Wan’s expectations. She told her, you don’t have to be so clear, it’s okay as long as you’re comfortable, we can do some unconventional things.
Because neither of them felt offended.
All along the way, Xiang Wan was always observing, always thinking, always learning. Everyone was dedicated to making her ‘understand,’ making her ‘comprehend’ the rules of survival in this society, hoping for her rapid growth. Only Chao Xin told her, you don’t have to understand so quickly.
These words were too bewitching, too easy to indulge in, and too easy to stir Xiang Wan’s interest.
After this conversation, when Xiao Zhu returned, she only saw two somewhat silent people.
Chao Xin said to Xiao Zhu, “We won’t look at the other one, I’ll pay the deposit today, can you handle the contract? I think I forgot to bring my ID.”
Xiao Zhu frowned, apologetically said, “Sis, the call just now was from the landlord, she said she’s not renting anymore, she’s found a tenant through property management, the person has already paid the deposit.”
“I talked to her for a while, I said not using a middleman is always unreliable, I persuaded her for a long time, you saw me on the phone for so long. But the landlord thinks it’s quite good to rent to someone introduced by the property management, we can’t do anything about it.”
She sighed.
Chao Xin smiled and said, “It’s okay, let’s keep looking.”
“Do we still look at the one in the office building?” Xiao Zhu asked quickly.
Chao Xin shook her head, “I’m a bit tired today, let’s do it another day.”
With that, Chao Xin, Xiang Wan, and the disappointed Xiao Zhu descended together. The three of them parted ways at the storefront, then Chao Xin and Xiang Wan went to the underground parking lot of the nearby mall to get the car.
Xiang Wan knew, Chao Xin was a bit regretful.
Because the two of them had already fantasized about how to decorate the house on the terrace. Once a thing carries a dream, its significance changes.
Chao Xin opened the driver’s door, and Xiang Wan, standing by the passenger side, asked her, “Do you want a cigarette?”
Chao Xin leaned on the door frame and smiled, “I’m out of cigarettes.”
She was about to bend down and get in, but Xiang Wan hesitated before she asked again softly, “Do you want a kiss?”
Chao Xin paused, her usually indifferent eyes slid slightly to the right, then she straightened up. She closed the driver’s door, then went to the back row, opening the rear door.
She got in.
Xiang Wan also opened the other side and sat in the back as well.
The light in the garage was dim, but neither of them wanted to kiss under the front windshield, where it’s too easy to be seen.
The back row had plenty of space, but Xiang Wan sat a little closer than usual.
Chao Xin held her face with her right hand, her eyes first surveyed Xiang Wan’s lips, soft, they looked very kissable.
Then her thumb gently caressed them, her eyelashes fluttered down before she leaned in for the kiss.
Indeed, it was soft. The sensation of sucking was like jelly, a little finer than jelly, but not sweet, only the intimate scent of each other.
Chao Xin wasn’t sure if it was because kissing a girl was this comfortable, or if kissing Xiang Wan was this comfortable, but one thing was certain, it felt clean. It was devoid of the nauseating, muddy scent that came when a drunken man drew close.
Xiang Wan’s heart pounded like a little drum. Her tongue explored, barely daring to apply any pressure. It gently circled Chao Xin’s tongue, sucking slightly finally, then retreating. She was merely licking the corners of Chao Xin’s mouth for a tiny sip.
But then Chao Xin suddenly laughed, her lips brushing against Xiang Wan’s. She told her, “Close your eyes.”
With her eyes open, Xiang Wan brows slightly furrowed, there was a little protrusion in the middle of her brows. It was the same look she had when she was researching how to do voice acting.
Xiang Wan wanted to apologize, but her lips were occupied. So, she tilted her head slightly, closed her eyes, and deepened the kiss.
In reality, it wasn’t like those stories online. There was no sweetness, no taste like chocolate. All that was present was the scent of Chao Xin’s skincare products, and the flavours Chao Xin exchanged with her fresh breath between them.
So, there was a bit of numbness, a bit of sensitivity. Even when Chao Xin reached out to move the hair from her shoulder to her back, Xiang Wan could feel a layer of goosebumps forming where she was touched.
The tiny hairs behind her ears also stood up because, faintly, she felt a hint of desire being lightly tasted deep in her throat, about to be drawn out.
But Chao Xin ended the kiss, pulling away, her lips moist.
She looked at Xiang Wan and said, “Not bad.”
“What do you think?”
Xiang Wan’s ears were red, and her face was slightly flushed, but she also said, “Not bad.”
“First kiss, right?” Chao Xin asked.
“Yes.”
“Me too.” Chao Xin smiled, her voice very low.
But Chao Xin seemed experienced. Her swaying figure and casual gestures were always full of temptation.
Chao Xin hooked her hair behind her ear, and Xiang Wan saw her earlobe was coloured. The slightly open collarbone was also coloured when she moved.
She probably wasn’t as composed as when she was guiding Xiang Wan.
Chao Xin bent her head down to change her shoes in the back seat, then they both returned to the front. Chao Xin started the car and drove out of the basement.
The streets were full of wonderful scenes again. Vendors and pedestrians were all doing their duties, like NPCs who shuttle through every day. Xiang Wan suddenly found it a bit magical. So many faces passing by, each with their own stories. Who decided that she was to be associated with this one, or some of these?
At the red light, Chao Xin stopped.
Suddenly, Chao Xin licked her lips and said to Xiang Wan, “I forgot to ask you something earlier.”
“What?”
Chao Xin cleared her throat, seeming a bit hesitant, “I’m much older than you, so it might…”
Sharing the first kiss with her might not have been a good choice. Usually, at the age of early twenties, one might want to explore with a young person of a similar age, right?
But Xiang Wan shook her head, “I don’t mind the age difference.”
Because if she did, Xiang Wan was over a thousand three hundred and sixty years older than her.
“I see.” Chao Xin nodded.
“Do you mind?” Xiang Wan, her eyes clear, asked Chao Xin.
“Actually,” Chao Xin thought for a moment, “I do mind.”
Her thinking was a bit old-fashioned. She often felt like she had nothing in common with some kids.
But Xiang Wan was different. She couldn’t specify exactly how she was different, but Xiang Wan was the only one who was different.
“But, if it’s you, it’s okay.”
Chao Xin said.
CNYuriTranslation 